I'm So Jealous, My Sister Lives the Life I Want For Myself?
I'm So Jealous, My Sister Lives the Life I Want For Myself?
My younger sister was able to go to college while taking on some student loans. I decided to stay home and help out my mom by getting a full time job and go to school at my local community college with the hopes of saving enough to go to college eventually. My mom really needed help with bills and the mortgage, thats why I decided to stay home instead of going away.
My sister and I arent very close, so I only see how she is living through facebook. I see pictures of her having fun with new friends, going to parties, dating, and now, having a relationship with a really cute guy. I cant help but think that that could be me. All I'm doing is working and going home. All of my friends are away at college, so I only see them a few times a year. I have a few friends at work, but its only working relationships, and they are also too tired to go out. I'm not dating because I'm so tired from work, and I don't have any future prospects either. I feel like I'm living the life of a 40 year old even though I'm only 23. I can't help but feel intense sadness and jealousy when I see my sister having a life and I'm not. I'm glad that I stayed home to help out my mom, but I can't help but feel like I've been cheated. I constantly feel lonely and depressed because of this and often times cry myself to sleep. I don't know what to do. Going away to college is in the very distant future and having a relationship or even having fun seems further out than that.
My mom and I are considering moving back to Europe, but that might not be for another year. Everything in my life always seems to take 'another year' and I don't want to suddenly be 30 and contemplating suicide because I'm still alone and working my butt off with no hope of a good future.
So what should I do? And before you ask, yes, I have tried online dating with no luck, and my all of my straight, cute co-workers are all taken.
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